Ridiculously perfect
Do you think everyone has only one love, one true love in this world?
I was just looking through my email inbox, trying to clear some space inside, and I came across an email someone sent to me earlier this year. (For the sake of this person's privacy, I shan't use any names.)
Ok, if you guys are looking for juicy details, you can just forget it. I won't divulge anything in that email. But reading it again made me think.
What if I'd turned down someone who was close to perfect but I turned away because of a few flaws?
What if he was the One?
I could have turned down someone who might not have a model-perfect face or physique, but has a big heart and could give me everything I ever wanted emotionally!
That's my fucking problem. Everything has to be so perfect, so flawless. And when something comes my way, I look away, my eyes filled only with the negative things.
I hate myself for this. Now it's too late for regrets.
Everyone has high expectations of what and who they want their significant other to be. But I am truly getting ridiculous.
I read Dawn Yang's blog the other day, and her latest post read this.
Right One, Right Now? Or Perfect Forever, Wait (maybe) Forever?
You see what I mean? I mean, of course I wouldn't wanna be with someone who is good-looking but arrogant and obnoxious, nor would I want someone who has a good heart and pleasant personality, but looks like a toad.
Why is it so difficult for me to find someone who loves me and I can love back? Why is it so hard for me to accept certain flaws in people, or am I just destined to be alone for the rest of my life?
And then there's my mom too. She's so rigid about race and nationality when it comes to relationships. As friends, ok. As a boyfriend, it's a definite no-no!
What the fuck?! Since when does love have boundaries on race and nationality? It's so absurd I wanna laugh. But I won't because I'm feeling depressed and disgusted at my lack of backbone. I can just imagine the look on my mom's face if I come home with a Caucasian/Latino/other race boyfriend. I'll probably be disowned. Sometimes I can't believe my mom wants to control me to this extent. It's fucking disturbing. Why can't she be happy for me if I wanna be with someone I love, even if he is of another race, or is mixed blood? So what if his skin is another colour? Bloody racist. (My mom will vehemently deny this accusation, of course. But tell me, what do u think from what u've read?)
Sigh. Maybe I'll grow old, sad and alone, and live in a tiny flat that smells of cat food with 2 dogs, 3 parrots and 10 cats. If I die, no one will find my body until someone outside smells the sweet, pungent stink of rotting flesh. And (this goes without saying) no one will attend my funeral. My bones will just be dumped unceremoniously into a hole in the ground, with no tombstone.
Oh god, I'm so morbid.
I was just looking through my email inbox, trying to clear some space inside, and I came across an email someone sent to me earlier this year. (For the sake of this person's privacy, I shan't use any names.)
Ok, if you guys are looking for juicy details, you can just forget it. I won't divulge anything in that email. But reading it again made me think.
What if I'd turned down someone who was close to perfect but I turned away because of a few flaws?
What if he was the One?
I could have turned down someone who might not have a model-perfect face or physique, but has a big heart and could give me everything I ever wanted emotionally!
That's my fucking problem. Everything has to be so perfect, so flawless. And when something comes my way, I look away, my eyes filled only with the negative things.
I hate myself for this. Now it's too late for regrets.
Everyone has high expectations of what and who they want their significant other to be. But I am truly getting ridiculous.
I read Dawn Yang's blog the other day, and her latest post read this.
Right One, Right Now? Or Perfect Forever, Wait (maybe) Forever?
You see what I mean? I mean, of course I wouldn't wanna be with someone who is good-looking but arrogant and obnoxious, nor would I want someone who has a good heart and pleasant personality, but looks like a toad.
Why is it so difficult for me to find someone who loves me and I can love back? Why is it so hard for me to accept certain flaws in people, or am I just destined to be alone for the rest of my life?
And then there's my mom too. She's so rigid about race and nationality when it comes to relationships. As friends, ok. As a boyfriend, it's a definite no-no!
What the fuck?! Since when does love have boundaries on race and nationality? It's so absurd I wanna laugh. But I won't because I'm feeling depressed and disgusted at my lack of backbone. I can just imagine the look on my mom's face if I come home with a Caucasian/Latino/other race boyfriend. I'll probably be disowned. Sometimes I can't believe my mom wants to control me to this extent. It's fucking disturbing. Why can't she be happy for me if I wanna be with someone I love, even if he is of another race, or is mixed blood? So what if his skin is another colour? Bloody racist. (My mom will vehemently deny this accusation, of course. But tell me, what do u think from what u've read?)
Sigh. Maybe I'll grow old, sad and alone, and live in a tiny flat that smells of cat food with 2 dogs, 3 parrots and 10 cats. If I die, no one will find my body until someone outside smells the sweet, pungent stink of rotting flesh. And (this goes without saying) no one will attend my funeral. My bones will just be dumped unceremoniously into a hole in the ground, with no tombstone.
Oh god, I'm so morbid.
posted by cheryl at 8:08 PM
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1 Comments:
It's not about how perfect someone is that you love them for... It's their imperfections that you have to learn to love, if you're going to love them with all your heart :)
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