love was surely made for fools... like me...

I really gotta break my extremely bad habit of waking up when the day's already half gone.

Finished up my Economics essay after my lunch-cum-dinner of kimchi noodles. Talked to my family online whilst I was eating.

I just finished watching The Pacifier, starring Vin Diesel and Lauren Graham (Lorelai Gilmore in Gilmore Girls). Damn funny, with emotional parts too.

Sigh. Things are stagnant. Maybe it's better if I don't hope too much, cos every rise makes the falling even more painful.

Everybody go

The party's over

I want to be alone in my head

In my bed tonight

You never show

You must really love her

You think I don't know

But I do, yeah it's true

I think over is over

I'm right back where I started

(when it comes to wanting you)

I can't have what I wanted

But I did, I can, I was, I am

Only human, living, dying

Just like any fool who ever breathed

If love is blind

If love's a drug

It always is

It always was and

Love was surely made for fools like me

I know where I'm going

I'm tripping

I'm sliding around

That's ok

At least I'm excited

It wasn't how I planned it

(wasn't how I planned it)

(Feet are where I landed)

(At least I understand it now)

My feet are where I landed

(feet are staying on the ground)

I did, I can, I was, I am

Only human, living, dying

Just like any fool who ever breathed

If love is blind
If love's a drug
It always is
It always was and
Love was surely made for fools like me

Fools like me

(Fools like me)

I did, I can, I was, I am
Only human, living, dying
Just like any fool who ever breathed

Maybe it's the sanest thing

Or just the sweetest kind of dream

But love was surely made for fools

(Love was surely made for fools)

Love was surely made for fools

(Love was surely made for fools)

Love was surely made for fools like me

-lisa loeb-

Yeah. Love was surely made for fools like me. I'm so goddamn stupid. I feel like shit now. U have no idea how it fucking hurts like hell, the feeling that u're so damn useless and worthless. And the worst thing is that I have to smile and look happy and cheery for the world to see. It's a mask people see everyday. Masquerade. Yeah, that's the word. It's a masquerade. Hide your face so the world will never find you. I wanna be alone now, but my friends just have to choose this perfect timing to come look for me. Not wanting to lose the already few friends I have left, I'm always obliged to let them have their way. I'm a servant in this world where I'm all alone.

something to gain, something to lose...

I am sad today. I fucked up majorly.

Today wasn't a good day for me at all. Sigh. Suddenly, I just don't feel like writing about it already. Oh wells.

Slept till about 3pm today and had yoghurt for lunch.

Had hot pot dinner with Liwen, Akiko, Yi Ping, Candy and Johnny "Da Ma" today. Yum! But it was so spicy and hot. I think alot of the cells in my taste buds have shrivelled and died from the amount of chilli in the soup. But it was good all the same.

I'm listening to Ashlee Simpson's "Love Makes the World Go Round" again. It suits my mood now. Sigh.

U know, sometimes thinking about it, it's a good thing I'm not with u. Cos if I was, then there's something to lose. Right now, there's something for me to gain.

good times...

What a fun night I had! It's like 5.05 am now. Michelle and Melissa (the twins) left my room just less than an hour ago. We were talking non-stop about everything thing under the sun. I haven't done that in ages!

My day started only around noon. I awoke just in time for lunch. Haha! Man, I'm such a lazybones. Went to the library after that to do my IT work with Hye Jung. Yay! I've finished all 30 freakin' boring exercises!

Went for dinner with the twins, Yu Yi and Yu Ting today at a Chinese restaurant. Now I have a new place to introduce to my other friends. Goody. Food was not bad.

I notice the shops close so early nowadays. It's so weird. The sun's still shining like anything, but Boots (Think Watsons.) was already closed, metal shutters down and lights turned off. We were gonna go to a pub for drinks and dessert, but everywhere was so crowded or gonna close shop, so a unanimous vote was made to crash at my room with wine and snacks. Wine and pretzels were supplied by the twins from Marks and Spencers.

Such fun! Laughing and joking around. Haven't done that in a long, LONG time. Yu Yi and Yu Ting had to leave early cos they had to catch the bus and it wasn't that safe around their area, especially for Yu Yi. The twins and I decided we were still sober (we actually finished one bottle of white wine already), and ran to the shop across the road to get another bottle. The shopkeeper was so funny. "Only one bottle, girls? That's not enough!" Haha.


Something good happened tonight that made me really happy. People close to me will know what it is. Anyone interested can ask me. I'll tell u if I'm in a very good mood :)

Pooped now. Night, all. (Or morning, if u wanna get technical about it.)

Something's in the air...

Today was wonderful. (full of pleasant surprises too!)

British Culture in the morning. We went on a field trip into Greenwich Village. It was great. First we went to the Cutty Sark. It's a ship, supposedly the fastest in its time. It's a tea clipper, which basically means that it shipped mainly tea from China or India or wherever u get tea from.

The Cutty Sark. That's my class there.

Then we visited the Old Royal Naval College. It was designed by this guy called Sir Christopher Wren. Originally it was supposed to be like a hospital for seamen. The place is beautiful. The University of Greenwich and Trinity College of Music use these grounds too, I think.

The Painted Hall is the main attraction. It is gorgeous. Although the Sistine Chapel wins hands down, of course. It was also where Lord Nelson, Britain's greatest naval hero lay in state after his death at the Battle of Trafalgar. The painted halls and ceilings took the artist 19 years to complete. Apparently, he was paid a really lousy amount of money. I took pictures of the hall. (Sorry if some of them are blur. I am but an amateur photographer with a lousy camera.)

The main ceiling of the Painted Hall.

Ditto. But from the back hall.

The main painting at the back of the hall and the marble arches.

The painted ceiling in the back hall.

The right wall of the back hall.

The main painting. The cathedral in the painting is the famous St. Paul's Cathedral. The artist painted himself in the painting too.

The artist, Sir James Thornhill. He painted himself with outstretched hands. The one in front is to showcase his work, the one behind his back is suggesting that he reckoned he should have been paid more.

(Ok, this is damn blur. Don't know why. My hand was pretty steady. When there's no flash, it tends to become blur.) It's a plaque in the marble floor to commemerate Lord Nelson, naval war hero.

Next, we went to the Chapel, another beautiful piece of architecture.

The painting on the front wall of the Chapel above the altar.

The altar. The candle stands are made of wood and plaster. They were later gilded with gold.

The pulpit, magnificently carved. (out of mahogany oak if I remember correctly.)

The ceiling of the Chapel.

The prized organ which dates back to 1789.

The next few pictures were taken whilst we were walking through the College on our way back to school.

The College grounds.

The building of the Painted Hall.

College grounds next to the River Thames.

Same. Just on the other side of the lawn.

The Royal Observatory is up on the hill, next to the little church up there, home to the world's Prime Meridian.

The two buildings, the Painted Hall and the Chapel.

It was great, chatting with u, as we walked along the grounds of the College in the crisp morning air. I liked that. Something was in the air. Is it what I hope it is?

My afternoon was far from spectacular, what with super boring IT class and a ton of IT exercises to complete. Except the part where u asked me for my email address. Haha!

I'm watching Troy all over again. Man, Eric Bana is hot stuff! All brawn and buff. Just like how a real man should be. (Drool.) Orlando Bloom is such a hunk too! Although I don't like the character he portrays in Troy. And Brad Pitt is gorgeous as well!

Ok, I should go. I have work to do. Bleagh.

I was walking around school with my Singaporean friend today during the break in English class and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed this totally hot guy walk up the stairs to the library. So I commented, "Wow, that guy's cute, huh." My friend looked at me and said, "Why u always like that type of guy one ah?" (Yup. She talks proper Singlish.)

Her statement got me thinking. What kind of guy do I like anyway?

Hmm.

I like the emo kind, I guess. The broody, moody look always makes my heart melt. Haha! Doesn't matter what hair colour he has. The eyes? Preferably blue/green/grey/hazel. Best for him to have a good complexion too. Oh, and no way can he be skinny or fat. Must be sort of in between. Would be even sweeter if he had a six-pack to show off. :) Oh yeah, and I like the boyish sort, look like small boy that kind, y'know? That set's my heart a-thumpin' too. Haha. Oh, and I like guys who take good care of their appearance. No need to be nit-picky about every little miniscule detail, but at least must be clean shaven, not be too scrubby and have yummy hot lips! Hahaha!

Probably some of u might be thinking, "Aiyoh, why she like angmoh type only ah? What's her problem, man?" Well, here's my problem with this: Singaporean chinese guys are totally clueless when it comes to romance. And don't put me in the same place as SPGs (Sarong Party Girl). I AM NOT AN SPG. I'm not anti-Asian dating. Just that I've had too many a bad experience with Singaporean chinese guys.

If a guy (ASIAN guy) makes a detour to ur room to ask u a question, ONE question, which was totally simple (and a little brainless, to be completely honest.), when he could have asked so many other people who live on the same floor who are in our class too, and ur room is like the furthest from his room, does that mean that he's sorta interested? (the guy also looks at u in class when he thinks u're not looking.) What's that mean?

Ok, I shouldn't think so much. Anyways, gotta go now. Got a ton of work to do.

Ok, time to recap today's events and yesterday's, no thanks to Blogspot's fucked up system.

First and foremost, I would like to say that u guys jolly well be damn grateful that I'm even here typing this post in the first place. My finger fucking hurts like hell, and I'm still here typing away to bring a sparkle to ur dull grey lives. (oh, come on, can't u take a joke?) I cut my middle finger whilst I was washing my knife. Blood just came flowing out like anything. It's pretty deep. And because I had dishwashing soap on my hands, of course it had to flow onto the cut and it goddamn stings like hell! Oh wells. At least now, no one can blame me for flipping them off when my middle finger sticks out unintentionally. (cos of the plaster, it feels a little stiff.)

Let's start with yesterday. Basically, the entry that I wanted to write was about my Economics teacher, so here goes. She's Pakistani, I think, or Indian. Well, whatever it is, she talks funny. It's like her tongue is too long for her mouth, so she can't really pronounce 'S' words properly. Man, I'm such a meanie. Oh, hell. I've chocked up some good karma the past month or two, I think. A little meanness isn't gonna get me a one-way ticket to hell. She's pretty ok on the whole. Except she introduced herself like this: "I've been teaching at this school for the past 2 years already and it's great. Only it's getting boring now." Boy, what a glowing recommendation, huh? How the heck do u expect to gain the students' interest and liking with that kind of self-introductory speech? My god, what a moron.

Ok, now today. Hmm. What can I write about? Highlight of the day was cutting my finger of course. Ooh! Went for yoga after class. Damn funny. During meditation, this guy (the only guy) fell asleep, I think. And he was snoring so loudly. And one of the other girls actually giggled whilst the rest of us steadfastly tried to ignore the loud guttural noises and to breathe in and out steadily. Haha.

Well, that's it for now, I guess. Gotta go do my English homework. Ciao, y'all.

Fuck, fuck, FUCK!!!

I hate it when this happens! Fucking stupid Blogspot! I spent almost more than half an hour to type out a freakin' long entry yesterday, and the stupid site went down, and now my post is gone!!! FUCKING HELL!!!

Now, I'm mad. Don't feel like blogging anymore.

untitled (i've run out of catchy titles)

Another day spent watching reruns of "That 70s Show". I really like that sitcom. Damn funny. It stops getting funny around the 7th time u rewatch the show though.

Went to Tesco's with Hye Jung today for essentials. Transport in London is truly fucked up. 1.50 pounds for a one-way bus ride. Like, what the hell! That's almost S$4.50! Imagine if Singapore charged that kinda bus fare! Almost everyone would wanna be a bus driver! Haha! But of course, being the true Singaporeans we are, first thing we would do is complain, loud and clear.

It's great fun to cook for myself. Of course, there's the not so fun part, like the washing up and the hassle of actually having to cook instead of having someone else cook for me. I had fried chicken today! (Like u needed to know that.)

This isn't working. Sigh. I'm so bored, suddenly I just don't feel like blogging anymore. Plus the fact that I'm sleepy, and my eyes are closing as I type all sorts of mistakes and keep having to press 'backspace'. Hmm. Probably going out with the twins, Yu Yi and Yu Ting sometime next week for dinner and drinks. Haven't hung out with them for a really long time.

Yawn. Well, I think I'm gonna call it a night, y'all.



U're coming back. And I'm glad. At least my eyes will be satisfied, even if my heart isn't.

don't cry out loud.

"No man is an island".

A friend once told me that. I realise that ever more now. I have never felt more alone and lonely as I felt today. I crave constantly for human contact, for relationships, be it friends, or more than friends, but today was the worst.

I always thought I could stand to be alone, that I could survive without any friends, that my family could just suffice. Today, I realise that, is not the truth. Deep down, I felt so lonely. The three girls I was once so close to in my class have all but retreated into their own little clique, effectively shutting out. I can't help but feel that it's because they're moving out of residence into private housing together at the end next week. When I hang out with them, conversation somehow or other always turns to how much fun they're gonna have in their own house, and all the plans they have for life in that house. Since I'm not gonna be moving with them, I really don't have much opinion to inject. So I'm thus just left aside, ignored, neglected. I was once included in trips to the supermarket or whatever. Now, I have to ask people if they wanna go to the supermarket. (I can't go alone, cos the way to the supermarket is dangerous.) I know I sound not unlike the voice of a petulant child, but I just can't help feeling the way I do. I feel so angry and dejected and sad.

Because I now have more alone time, my mind turns to home. Home, where my mom and dad and brother are, where my whole family, and all my friends, my good friends, the ones I can count on one hand, are. "Home is where the heart is". How true this statement is! I miss home so much. I thought I would never be homesick. After all, the first three months I spent here in London was bereft of any sadness or homesickness everyone told me I would feel. But then, I went home in April. And now, back here in London, after a great time back home, I can't help thinking back to the good days and feeling a little sad.

My room is bigger than the one I had in the under-18 block. (I shall put pictures up soon. I'm too lazy to do so now.) I don't put much stuff around, so my room's kinda bare and empty, which makes it seem all the more depressing and sad. Sigh.

Don't cry out loud. I remember there was a song that once had those words. That's exactly what I'm doing now. No crying out loud. Keep it in. That's the way to go.

yearning hearts...

My school is majorly fucked up. Gotta live with that lousy 68% for now.

Had British Culture this morning. Man, is it fun or what?! My teacher is really cool, not to mention really knowledgeable as well. We had a really fun lesson discussing different topics we can choose to write on for our coursework essay. Next week, we're gonna go into Greenwich Village on a field trip. Much more exciting and fun than the usual old lessons in a stuffy classroom.

My neighbour is really so very noisy. Must be Russian or Turkish. Not that I'm prejudiced, but these two are usually the most rowdy.



I know u know me. I saw it in ur eyes. And though I didn't show I knew, know that I do. Strangely, I feel no regrets. My friend said what I did was brave. I see it as a fool's dumb luck. So, what's next? My heart's yearning. I hope, that, u can see.

photos... and regrets...

Been pretty busy. Just moved into my new room yesterday. I'll put up pictures as soon as I get down to it. I'm just plain lazy.

I'm changing my booking to self-catering, so I have a kitchenette in my room, so I can cook for myself. U know me, yeah? Microwave every damn thing, that's the easiest. Haha! I am that lazy.

Anyways, wanna put up some photos. Some from lunch and dinner with my family some time during last week and some of the bbq party before I left for London last Friday, in order of occurence. Sorry Happy Club, for procrastinating till now. Still, better late than never, right? Haha!

First, lunch.

Mom scanning through the menu at the Chinese restaurant at Hotel Asia (next to The Sheraton). Highly recommended! Food's splendid!

Sweet potato soup for dessert! Mm-mm!

Mom's dessert, beancurd skin in sweet soup. At least according to the menu. Haha!

Now dinner.

Uncle Francis.

I look good. Will kill those who differ. Haha! Joking only.

Ok, now, FINALLY, the bbq pictures.

The birthday boy! Happy 19th, Teck Teng! (Wind was strong.)

Cherri and moi!

Freesia, me and Zhiyi!

We girls look good.

The guys. Sorry, the photo's damn blur.

Group photo! Beautiful! Thanks to Pei Mun's steady hands!

Ok, that's all the photos! Hope y'all like it!

Anyways, on to other stuff. Not all stuff in this world is happy, so here comes something that got me really down the past day. I got back my results! (Cue thunder crash and lightning strikes.) I'm real happy about my Math and English results. I got 93% for Math (which I think I mentioned before.) and 77% for English, which I consider pretty good, since the paper was very tough. Like GP standard. Really. Anyway, the thing that made my heart skip two, no, three beats was my Business Studies mark. 68%. Everything literally came to a standstill. I was shocked. What, some of u may be thinking, is this crazed girl making such a huge fuss about? Well, I'll tell u. This may be the discerning grade that gets me into a good university or a lousy university. I'm so worried. My mom is so very understanding about it all, I feel bloody guilty. I vow to study very hard this term. No more letting down my loved ones. All the guilt I feel in this world won't assuage the fact that I disappointed my family and friends. So please encourage me continuously ok, people?

Apart from all that, I'm missing home. My family, friends. Everything. Sigh. Sometimes I feel, why the fucking hell did I wanna come to this godforsaken place?! Man, that was a serious lapse of judgement. Well, I've made my bed, and now, I'm gonna have to sleep in it. But it sure is an uncomfortable bed.

This is no time for regrets. Work hard. No more fun time. This time it's serious.

movie buff...

Well, I'm all well and rested after a great night's sleep. Slept early, awoke late. That's the life, man.

Yesterday I returned from Singapore to London. Sat Singapore Airlines, one of the best airlines in the world. I love their in-flight entertainment. U can pause ur movie in the middle or fast-forward. It's the best.

Anyways, I watched Memoirs of a Geisha (starring Michelle Yeoh, Gong Li and Zhang Ziyi), Rumor Has It (Jennifer Aniston, Kevin Costner, Shirley MacLaine, Mark Ruffalo), The Chronicles of Narnia:The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, and a little of Derailed (Jennifer Aniston, Clive Owen)(It got cut off cos we were landing.) Also watched a couple of sitcoms, My Wife and Kids, Scrubs, Becker. What I Like About You (Amanda Bynes, Jennie Garth) is my all time favourite. Amanda Bynes (Holly) is so talented and pretty and I just love her voice. Jennie Garth (Valerie, Holly's big sister) is so beautiful. She was made famous in Beverly Hills 90210, if I'm not wrong. Man, that episode got me rolling in my seat with laughter.

Chronicles of Narnia is superb. That does it for me. No more Harry Potter crap. Sure, Harry Potter is good, but Chronicles of Narnia is great! It's all fantasy and fairy-tale, but Chronicles of Narnia is slightly better. The battle scene was spectacular. The only movie that it will never beat in that aspect is the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Of course, there were lots special effects. But everything still looked pretty realistic.

Rumor Has It is so funny. Well, with Jennifer Aniston, that's the least u can expect. Another brilliant movie, Jenni.

Well, I'm off now. Later.

back in uk...

14 hours over in a cramped, tiny space hovering in nothingness. I think I have a slight case of claustraphobia. I really don't like flying all that much. It makes my head spin and my stomach churn. I am so sick of the airplane smell, that dry, musty smell of human beings cramped in a small space for too long a time.

As u all probably know now, I'm back in London. Met up with Lavinia at the airport. This time my baggage allowance was 40kg, so I figured I better bring as much as I could. Only I'd counted on some good samaritian at the baggage claim to lend me a helping hand. Sad to say, helpfulness is so not alive and kicking these days. I had to lug my 2 luggages without anyone's help. Not to mention the stupid trolley in London Heathrow Airport is nothing like Singapore Changi Airport's trolley, where it automatically locks when u don't press down on the bar. Everytime I tried to lift my luggage up on the trolley, the damn thing would slide away. What the fuck! It took me three fucking tries to get my huge baggage onto the trolley. Met my Turkish friend at the taxi stand, so the three of us got the same cab. It took such a long time. Peak hour jams in London is no fun at all.

Man, I'm tired. Hardly slept on the plane. Everytime I dozed off, the plane would bounce because of turbulence. Overall, the flight was pretty ok. I watched a number of movies, which I shall blog more about in my next entry, because I am pooped now and I require my beauty sleep. So good night.

gastronomic delights

Been pretty busy the past few days, hence the lack of updates. (plus the fact that I'm a completely lazy bum.)

Saturday was spent with my family. Wanted to go out with The Happy Club, but as usual, my mom didn't let me go. Oh wells. Still I had fun. We went to Kandahar Road (near Arab Street) to this quaint little Indonesian restaurant for lunch. Just our luck that it starting pouring like anything on our way there. The food was yummy and the price is really reasonable too. U guys should definitely go and try it. U won't regret. Of course, only go if u can stand the chilli! EVERYTHING (with the exception of drinks and desserts) is cooked with chilli! But still... SEDAP!!! Haha.

The restaurant. Haha. No, this was the upstairs. There wasn't space downstairs at first.

The before...

... and the after!

Coconut! Very cooling. Dee-licious!

Makes u drool right? Haha! Best thing was, it's not that filling. So u can eat to ur heart's content there.

After that, we decided to brave the weekend crowds in the malls of Singapore. So we headed to Tampines Mall and proceeded to spend a helluva lot of moolah there. Woohoo! I bought a new luggage at Isetan to bring back my crap to the UK . Then we went to Giordano and splurged on new clothes there. My mom must have been in a great mood, cos she allowed me to get a new jacket, even though I just bought one 3 months ago. Haha! After that, Mom was all ready to call it quits and surrender to the never-ending surge of humans in the shopping complex. However, with my powers of persuasion, we found ourselves in Hush Puppies, where Dad picked up a new pair of shoes. I almost bought a pair of sneakers at $49. But being the good daughter I am, I sensibly said "No, it's ok. I already have a good pair of Converse sneakers. Mom, u don't have to spend this sum of money on me." Well, after this, we went home, tired but happy with the purchases of our day.

The climax of the day was when Uncle Francis lost his housekeys. He had to call the locksmith. Apparently, this wasn't the first time. He locked himself out of his own house before. Haha. I felt kinda sorry for him. I mean, what with kicking urself mentally for losing your own keys, and the added fact that u have to get back inside the house cos u gotta do dialysis, AND ur sister goes screaming at u like some kinda banshee, it really is a living hell. No wonder, he shooed us off in the end. Poor Uncle Francis. He had to pay over $100 to get into his house.

Well, today was slightly different from the usual. First we went to Choa Chu Kang Cemetery. I wanted to pay my respects to my grandparents before I left for UK again. I went down to Aunty Sally's to get roses for my beloved granny. I really do miss her so much. Sigh. Well, we all have to go some time or other. Then we headed to the Garden of Remembrance, where a niche has been bought for when the time comes for exhumation.

The angels standing guard at the entrance of the Garden of Remembrance.

The angels from the second floor. According to my uncle, they were moved here from their original location at some other cemetery.

Beautiful verse.

My dad and I sitting at a little alcove. He is horrible when it comes to taking photos. Always trying to be funny.

Accidental photos always turn out artistic. I just think this one of my mom looked quite nice.

Then we went for lunch at this little place in some little park in Sembawang. U can see the coastline of Johor just across the water.

Beaulieu House. Ambience is great, with the birds chirping and cicadas shrilling in the background. No air-con though, and LOTS of bugs.

Dad perusing the menu. Prices are relatively high, for such an out-of-the-way place.

Dad and the beautiful seaview behind him. Trying to be funny again. Sigh. Hopeless. Haha.

The menu! Great food, for reasonable prices!

Dig in!

Sirloin steak with vinaigrette sauce, medium well. Mm-mm!

We then headed for home. Conversation in the car somehow turned to Changi Prison, so Dad made a detour on Mom's command and we ended up at the Changi Chapel and Museum that commerates the POWs and internees during the Japanese Invasion in WWII. People must have thought we were weirdos. We were like the only Asian people there. But it was very interesting and informative. I feel so sad for the people who had to experience those traumatic times.

The outdoor chapel. People are allowed to pick a flower from the surrounding gardens and place it on the altar to pay respects for those who gave their lives during the war. Problem was, there were no flowers. Haha.

Yes, it's a person. That's just my uncle sitting inside the dungeon. It's a cell made to the exact proportions that the POWs had to live in during the war. It's so realistic, even the air inside smells musty and stuffy. The audio tour inside is scary. Oh, those screams!

Lest we forget. How true.

We must never take our freedom today for granted. For who knows when war will strike again, and we will be fighting for our freedom once more.

life after death...

Where do we all go after we die? This is a question that has forever been intriguing me, haunting me. Do our souls leave this earth when our bodies fades? Or do they linger, wandering the lands until it is time for them to take physical form again?

Some believe in life after death. In some way, I do too. I think souls are like archives, with a ton of memories, the little scraps of life that they pick up along the way during their lifetime. I mean, I think that we all have past lives, just that we're not all that conscious to it. Have u ever found urself thinking of something totally irrelevant, absolutely not connected to ur own life when u daydream? Or when u have a really vivid dream that seems so real, like it really took place? All these could be those bits and pieces of your past life.


I asked a friend his opinion on the afterlife. Here's what he said:

By religious definition, our spirit goes to heaven when we die, and it remains there till the day of reckoning, when it's brought back to earth to be reunited with those it has left behind. I suppose the afterlife in heaven would consist of a perfect place, with no hurt, worry, guilt, sadness, hatred, jealousy. A true utopia, free of all the trappings of earth. On the other side of the coin, the afterlife that isn't in heaven... To me, hell can be whatever you choose it to be. It's a state of mind, as opposed to the fiery, burning place we all envision. I mean, it could be reliving a bad memory, facing a deep fear, etc. I also believe that how you live your life now, will reflect in your afterlife, because when it comes down to the wire, the one question you will ask yourself is "Did I do myself justice in my life? Did I live how I wanted to live?" If you weren't happy with your life, then your afterlife won't be much better.


Wow. Deep stuff, this. But like so many other things, right alongside religion, this is one of those ambiguous and controversial issues. No right, no wrong. Everyone is entitled to their own personal opinions. Until there is a foolproof method to find some answers, I guess we'll just have to continue questioning. To quote a friend, "It's like teaching an ant to use a cellphone. We will never understand. That is why there is religion, to make us get it in simpler terms."

I should end there but I just HAVE to write this.
I'm really so sorry. I bet I really made u disappointed. Up and then all the way down. I want u to know I feel the same way u feel too, but I'm afraid of what will happen if I do. I'm afraid I'll be left wanting more. Just go with the flow I guess. Sigh. This is just my darn luck. Just when the thing I've wanted more than anything in the world comes along, everything crashes down and I have to face the harsh reality of it all. Bloody fuck. Maybe we can apply the life after death theory here too. Hope died now, but maybe it'll be revived. Ah, what crap am I spouting. Heck it. I leave it all up to Fate. (I hate Fate, by the way. Makes me feel I'm not in control of my own life.) Shit. I hate this. How often do I get the chance? And now that it's here, I can't have it. Damn, damn, DAMN!!!!!

SG... So Gross... or Sucky Greenery... or Singapore

Ok, finally I can post this entry.

I'm back! In dear old Singapore. It is sweltering hot and humid. I really hate the weather here. Makes my skin so darn sticky. A mosquito tried to bite me and actually got stuck on my hand. I kid u not. Bloody bugger couldn't fly off, try as he might. Since it wasn't an Aedes mosquito, I spent a good 5 minutes observing the stupid insect kicking its teensy legs as it tried frantically to dislodge its butt from my arm and found that its wings were glued firmly to my arm, before I gave it a good, hard, resounding, well-deserved slap, which put an end to it's bloodsucking days. Hmph! Too bad. Who asked u to land on my arm? Now all because of u I have a red spot on my arm.

Tried to surprise Mei Ying today. Needless to say, I failed. I give up on this whole "surprise" thing. It NEVER works out anyway. Haha. But I still spent a really good afternoon with my dear bestie! (V-O-U-C-H-E-R, anyone?) Hahaha! Happy birthday to Meixi, by the way! Glad u liked the earrings!

Went back to Mugger JC on Monday to collect my Chinese A Level results, get the bloody worthless yearbook that I paid a hefty $17.50 for, and to catch up with The Happy Club!

The first one was a damn waste of my time. My result slip might as well be used to wipe my ass or be burned. Only a lousy C5. What the hell. All that work done for absolutely nothing. And that bloody ass teacher who gave me my result slip. Of what consequence is it to u if I wanna get my result slip? And so what if I wanna collect it even though I'm studying in UK now? Ask so many questions for what? You also not my teacher anymore what. Bitch.

The second one turned out to be not so worthless after all. Packaging was nice and design was pretty good. Content sucked, as usual, like all yearbooks.


The third one was pretty darn good. The looks on their faces!

"What u doing here?! OMG!!!"

Hahaha. Only Cherri knew. Cos I wanted to surprise them, then I didn't know their timetable. So I had to ask Cherri. Some surprise I planned, huh? Lol.


Then I headed to ECP Starbucks to meet up with Ed, to catch up on old times. Had fun! Man, this guy is hilarious! U and ur russel peters man. (Tap Some Bong! Hahaha!) Nic came later. Nice seeing him. Funny guy.

On Tuesday, Mom had her usual monthly dinner talk at The Copthorne, so the rest of the family had to eat KFC with me. (I got my way cos I've been away for so long. Hahaha!) Plus I haven't had KFC in ages! (The nearest KFC to my college in UK is 4 bloody bus stops away. So there u go.) Lovely! Now I think of the amount of fats clogging up my arteries now, I start having regrets. And in case any KFC people read this, the counter girl is bloody effing rude. Stupid minah. Tell her to brush up on her customer service skills. And a smile requires less effort than a frown, missy.

Wednesday was spent doing absolutely nothing. (Clearing my room is considered nothing. Unless u find dust bunnies mildly interesting, then I have nothing to say.)

Was supposed to have dinner with Nic today. But thanks to darling Mummy (as usual), I had to cancel on him. Damn her. Really, really damn her. She's a dear and all, and I'm eternally grateful that she sent me abroad to study, but seriously, she does no help whatsoever in my social life.


Ok, my blog entries are getting more and more mindless. Must come up with more interesting things to write.


I want to go shopping! Anyone know any good places with high quality stuff at dirt cheap prices?

lesson time... and then some...

boredom/ noun [U] the state of being bored: I sometimes eat out of boredom.

blah. this is a pointless entry.

Wait. Another thing, I officially really, really, REALLY hate my brother's guts. (Like that's new.) I was all ready to be nice and kind and be a good sister who doesn't torment and torture him. Well, I guess too bad for him. I don't want to even TRY and chock up good karma for myself. Thanks to that lousy ingrate, I am now in big shit. My dad's mad at me. And my dad is seldom, if not never, mad at me. Great. Just great. I only have one thing to say.

FUCK YOU.

HE WROTE BACK!

Sorry for the lack of updates. I have absolutely nothing of importance that is worth my time to put up on my blog, except that HE WROTE BACK!

HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK! HE WROTE BACK!

Oh, and did I mention?

HE WROTE BACK!